Totalitarian Tortilla
Member
i don't have a car, does that mean i need to tuck?
What Your Car Says About You ...
- Thread starter tuc0
- Start date
I don't find where i fit in, though i've owned the Camaro, the BMW, the D-50 x2, the Corolla, the Chevy Blazer (I won't apologize for the lack of hitch testicles), the Landcruiser, the too big ford fairmont and Fairlane...plus a bike or two and a baja bug. I'm reduced to this:
i rather have that truck than my 2003 corolla... wanna trade?
No sir. I've already worked myself up past a '78 Corolla with paper clips holding the carb together. Thanks for the offer though.
I did some research:
1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
2. Acura Legend: I’m too bland for German cars
3. Acura NSX: I am impotent
4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires
5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
6. Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp
8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people
9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette
10. Chevrolet Corvette: I’m in a mid-life crisis
11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather
13. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
14. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
15. Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart)
16. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones
17. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
18. Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
19. Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
20. Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
21. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and have no credit
22. Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
23. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
24. Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
25. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
26. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
27. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
28. Mercury Grand Marquis: (See above)
29. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
30. Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
31. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
32. MGB: I am dating a mechanic
33. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don’t know what it means either
34. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
35. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts
36. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List
37. Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
38. Pontiac Trans AM: I have a switchblade in my sock
39. Porsche 944: I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
40. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
41. Saturn SC2: (See Honda Civic)
42. Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
43. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet
44. Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
45. Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
46. Volkswagon Microbus: I am tripping right now
47. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife
1. Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
2. Acura Legend: I’m too bland for German cars
3. Acura NSX: I am impotent
4. Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires
5. Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
6. Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
7. Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp
8. Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people
9. Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette
10. Chevrolet Corvette: I’m in a mid-life crisis
11. Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
12. Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather
13. Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
14. Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
15. Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart)
16. Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones
17. Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
18. Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
19. Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
20. Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
21. Honda Civic: I have just graduated and have no credit
22. Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
23. Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
24. Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
25. Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
26. Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
27. Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
28. Mercury Grand Marquis: (See above)
29. Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
30. Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
31. Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
32. MGB: I am dating a mechanic
33. Mitsubishi Diamante: I don’t know what it means either
34. Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
35. Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I’m going to make a fortune off the parts
36. Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List
37. Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
38. Pontiac Trans AM: I have a switchblade in my sock
39. Porsche 944: I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
40. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
41. Saturn SC2: (See Honda Civic)
42. Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
43. Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet
44. Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
45. Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
46. Volkswagon Microbus: I am tripping right now
47. Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife
Brisk & Disgruntled Chris Farley in Mom Jeans, according to the article
