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thanks. means a lot. really. its been rough. shut myself indoors besides work so i wont go out and buy anything. lets just say.. ive caught up some gaming and a LOT of anime haha (y)

oh and i dont wanna hijack the thread so ill shush!

2013 the sober year for surrender and huggs!
 
Dehugger said:
I hereby swear off alcohol. It has brought me nothing but pain and a bad reputation. Seriously. Fuck that shit.

I dont have these problems when weed is involved. Jesus H Christ on a candy-cane stripper pole
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Of all things mentioned, you'll probably only burn for the stripper pole part.
 
Shit. I'm pushing 50. Frankly, I never could imagine my life past the age of 30-35. If my life had been mapped out for me I would have still taken it off-road and cut my own path. I was and am a rebel without a cause. I realize in retrospect that most of my attitudes, opinions, thought processes, and defense mechanisms have all been a tragic result of doubt and fear. Doubt IS fear. When I was still young, my mind and body still whole and working like they naturally would, I came to that crossroads where a young person makes some choices and sort of picks a direction, more or less. I sought guidance and was told only that I could do anything I wanted to and be anybody I wanted to. You can't really tell anymore but I was a relatively bright young man insofar as any comparison with my peers might indicate. I graduated high school 3 months after I turned 16 and would have been at the top of my class, or a close second since my good friend Judith was hella smarter than me and now practices medicine not far from where I live now, but I had taken to getting stoned during the day and tossing alcohol onto the mix at night or days, or nights, or days, whatever. It mostly matter because I had no idea what else I might be doing given that I was unable or unwilling to imagine a different vector for myself. It's been like that over the years and it is still like that for me today. And I'll tell you all straight up it doesn't feel any better today that it did 31 years ago. In fact, I wonder about how it would be and how I would feel right now if I'd never drunk alcohol, or burned anything into my lungs, or whatever just the same as I wondered back then what it would be like to drink socially, get drunk with friends, and sample some of the socially acceptable or socially unacceptable so called pleasures of life. A lot of that sampling was a fucking pain in the ass, if not just plain hard work, to get to and get through. If I'd known there was going to be that much drama and that much work to maintain the lifestyle I fell into I think I'd have rather done it with a clear mind and maybe even learned from it. Anyway, i'm rambling and you quit reading after the first sentence. But I do want to state a revelation that you'll all ignore. And believe me...I have done my research and I do feel qualified to make the following statement:

Your mind is your only tool by which you will experience each and every moment of each and every day of your entire life. Your mind will determine your success by its own measure. Your mind will determine your happiness by its own measure. Your mind...determines the reality in which you live. I know. It sounds so fucking cliche. oh wow, i think therefore i am...blah blah blah...Your mind is perfect. Rarely does chemical alteration in a social setting produce a more than perfect mind.

Shit, fuck it. I respect an individuals right to choose for themselves. Alcohol affects people differently until you get 35 years down the road where the end results are pretty much the same. You'll look and feel just the same as the Skid Row drunk who decided he needed to get there before you. It's a fact. Alcohol was an easy choice for me. Apparently I wasn't up to a challenge of being sober. Your mind is prepared to show you so much joy that you will be amazed. The loaded mind wants only to emulate the joy that you would have otherwise fully enjoyed. without ever having been loaded.

Okay. I'm not making my subtle points so well, so....Respect to Surrender and dehugger and was that Kamikaze bouncing up and down in the back? Show them some support. If your version of support includes justifications and rationalizations about your own endeavors into the ethanol then you might want to give that a closer look and start talking to the folks around you. The ones that ain't already drunk. Be genuine. This isn't about alcohol. This is about personal freedom. You're all FOR personal freedom, right? or am i in the wrong Goddamned place again? Sonofabitch. Every one of us has to decide. And if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.


We now return to our regularly scheduled programming:

[video=youtube_share;kBdRnAuECWE]http://youtu.be/kBdRnAuECWE[/video]
 
civil servant said:
Anyway, i'm rambling and you quit reading after the first sentence. But I do want to state a revelation that you'll all ignore.
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Civil, I like to give you a hard time about your novels, but I fought my ADD & read this completely through.
I'm thankful for your contributions of insight as you've obviously experienced more than most (or all) here.
P.S. I'm at work, so I didn't watch the video. ;)
 
Thanks for the response [MENTION=54]civil servant[/MENTION], I am truly honored to receive such a large helping of your wisdom. I did some really really stupid shit the other night, and its really grating on me. Suffice to say, most of my friends are now convinced Im gay, except for one or two of the closest, and wont believe otherwise. Its rather terrible timing as I have a lady friend from highschool I am trying to get back together with right now, and it really seems that could go well for us. Im just praying she dosnt find out what happened exactly at new years, although to be honest I really dont know that much either. Its pretty much all black from 11 oclock forward.

It seems my experiences with drinking have been getting progressively worse, with the other night being a culmination of months worth of bad choices, and one rather shitty friend. I dropped out of community college back in spring, and while Im doing well with work right now, and Im about to get a good job doing tech support (fingers crossed) my family and friends and very disproving about my lack of school. Its kind of disheartening.

Thanks for all the replys guys, I really appreciate the advice and general camaraderie of the clan. Merry New Year!
 
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